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BL41R GRYLLS
DRIZ
Jonzee
mc_homer
J-Iggy
CFCNick
BuffonIdol
11 posters
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Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:14 am
We need a place to share jokes. This thread seems like a good place. I guess I should start....
"What kind of cheese isn't yours?
Nacho cheese"
Over to you!
"What kind of cheese isn't yours?
Nacho cheese"
Over to you!
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:19 am
Two silk worms were in a race.
It ended in a tie.
It ended in a tie.
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:19 am
Who's the patron saint of email?
St Francis of a cc
St Francis of a cc
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:20 am
Have you heard about that new movie Constipation?
It hasn't come out yet.
It hasn't come out yet.
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:22 am
Two atoms are in a bar. One says, "I think I lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" "I'm positive."
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:22 am
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork Chop
Pork Chop
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by BuffonIdol Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:23 am
Man #1: "My wife and I never had sex before we were married. How about you?"
Man #2: "Dunno. What was her maiden name?"
Man #2: "Dunno. What was her maiden name?"
BuffonIdol- Posts : 2386
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 36
Location : UK
Re: Joke thread
by CFCNick Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:51 am
Paddy's girlfriend buys some crotchless panties. She goes home and puts them on, sits open legged, and waits for Paddy. When he gets home she says "Hey, come and lick this", to which Paddy replies "Fuck that! Look what it's done to your knickers!"
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
Re: Joke thread
by J-Iggy Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:16 am
One guy says to another, " Does beer make you smarter?"
The other guy says, " I don't know but, I heard that it made Bud wiser."
The other guy says, " I don't know but, I heard that it made Bud wiser."
J-Iggy- Posts : 1267
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 38
Location : Brighton
Re: Joke thread
by J-Iggy Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:17 am
Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!
They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!
J-Iggy- Posts : 1267
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 38
Location : Brighton
Re: Joke thread
by J-Iggy Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:17 am
The man said, "My dog watches all the Toronto Maple Leafs games on TV. Everytime they lose, he lies down and cries his eyes out."
His friend says, "That's incredible. What does he do when they win?" The man replied, "I don't know, I'll let you know when it actually happens."
His friend says, "That's incredible. What does he do when they win?" The man replied, "I don't know, I'll let you know when it actually happens."
J-Iggy- Posts : 1267
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 38
Location : Brighton
Re: Joke thread
by J-Iggy Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:19 am
Q:How many Lindros's does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Not even Eric knows because his lights are always out.
A:Not even Eric knows because his lights are always out.
J-Iggy- Posts : 1267
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 38
Location : Brighton
Re: Joke thread
by J-Iggy Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:23 am
Q: Why do Toronto Maple Leafs players have TGIF on their skates?
A: Toes Go In First
A: Toes Go In First
J-Iggy- Posts : 1267
Join date : 2010-04-01
Age : 38
Location : Brighton
Re: Joke thread
by CFCNick Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:24 am
I was at a nightclub with the wife at the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor doing the moonwalk, spinning on his back, doing back-flips - you know, the full works. The wife said to me "He asked me to marry him 10 years ago, but I turned him down", "Looks like he's still celebrating" I replied.
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
Re: Joke thread
by CFCNick Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:25 am
I spotted a fat chick giving it large on the dance floor in the club last night, so I went over.
"Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked.
"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled.
"Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick."
"Fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter?" I winked.
"Oh yes, definitely," she giggled.
"Thanks," I replied. "You're making me and the lads a little sick."
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
Re: Joke thread
by CFCNick Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:40 am
How do you circumcise a Bruins fan?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Kick his sister in the chin.
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
Re: Joke thread
by CFCNick Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:58 am
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night, locals were shouting pedo and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 52.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
Re: Joke thread
by CFCNick Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:01 am
The wife said she was going to leave me over my obsession with the Monkeys. At first I didnt believe it. Then I saw her face.
CFCNick- Posts : 679
Join date : 2012-03-29
Age : 34
Location : Bedford -
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Age : 40
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Jonzee- Posts : 1253
Join date : 2010-03-20
Age : 40
Location : Nottingham
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