Re: Joke thread

by DRIZ Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:04 pm

Kerry Katona

by DRIZ Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:20 pm

Leafy:

'She looked 19'....'she said she was 17'.....'How many 14 yr olds have norks that big?'

by BL41R GRYLLS Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:59 pm

Is this an anything goes joke thread?

We need a disclaimer before I start. lol

by **Jonzee** Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:33 pm

Only in the USA

by **mc_homer** Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:31 pm

BL41R GRYLLS wrote:Is this an anything goes joke thread?

We need a disclaimer before I start. lol

Depends if it is something that will get me in trouble or not Wink

by **Jonzee** Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:42 pm

Livetweet relationship issues

by ronnie pander Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:20 am

Did you hear about the Irishman who drowned in a vat of whiskey?

Some of his workmates tried to rescue him but he fought them off bravely.

by sportsportsport Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:04 am

Jonzee wrote:Livetweet relationship issues

amazing

by Lord SKAgiraffe Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:39 pm

DRIZ wrote:
Leafy:

'She looked 19'....'she said she was 17'.....'How many 14 yr olds have norks that big?'

Ahem, thats not entirely correct. She looked 20, she said she was 20, and she was 16. Almost. And those norks were truly amazing....

by **Jonzee** Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:55 pm

This is bad, and stolen from twitter, but I do not apologise.

Craig David has got a job during the 2012 Olympics helping the Archery team. He will be their Bow selector.

by CFCNick Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:47 am

How many G4S staff does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five coppers and a soldier.

by Calamity Jane Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:15 am

Jonzee wrote:This is bad, and stolen from twitter, but I do not apologise.

Craig David has got a job during the 2012 Olympics helping the Archery team. He will be their Bow selector.

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I laughed at this. And probably more than I should have. Rolling Eyes

by Lord SKAgiraffe Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:56 pm

Placing a 'Caution: Slippery floor' sign in WH Smiths by the 50 Shades of Grey stand....

by Calamity Jane Sat Jul 21, 2012 12:18 am

Damn, I was really hoping this forum was going to remain a 50 shades free zone. Smile

'50 Sheds of Grey' on Twitter is pretty funny.

by Lord SKAgiraffe Sat Jul 21, 2012 12:40 am

When I heard about it, I though it was about a gang bang in a retirement home.....

by **Jonzee** Sat Jul 21, 2012 1:50 am

CJ, as our "Token Female", are you not interested in it?

by Calamity Jane Sat Jul 21, 2012 2:17 am

Not in the slightest. And it's not because of the content either. I am going to sound like a total snob here, but I read the first couple of chapters and thought the writing was terrible. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is better structured and has superior character development. Smile

by **BuffonIdol** Sat Jul 21, 2012 3:05 am

To be fair the Hungry Caterpillar is the epitome of good book with plenty of great illustrations and interactivity. No other book could stand shoulder to shoulder with it, not even the bible. Take a bow Eric Carle, take a bow.

by DRIZ Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:33 am

From James, aged 5

I like reading the hungry caterpillar. Its my favourite book.

by ronnie pander Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:46 am

Calamity Jane wrote:Not in the slightest. And it's not because of the content either. I am going to sound like a total snob here, but I read the first couple of chapters and thought the writing was terrible. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is better structured and has superior character development.

Plus, surely erotic fiction should be filthy? I've not read the Shades of Grey books but it's far too mainstream to be dirty and I can only assume it's actually very mild. Therefore - pointless.

by Calamity Jane Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:59 am

DRIZ wrote:
From James, aged 5

I like reading the hungry caterpillar. Its my favourite book.

James is a very perspicacious young man. He'll go far. Very Happy

by Calamity Jane Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:11 am

ronnie pander wrote:
Calamity Jane wrote:Not in the slightest. And it's not because of the content either. I am going to sound like a total snob here, but I read the first couple of chapters and thought the writing was terrible. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is better structured and has superior character development.

Plus, surely erotic fiction should be filthy? I've not read the Shades of Grey books but it's far too mainstream to be dirty and I can only assume it's actually very mild. Therefore - pointless.

Well precisely Ronnie. If I want to read erotica, I'm not going to read something that started out as fan-fiction based on some stupid teenage books about sparkly vampires for god's sake. And breathe....

And to bring us swiftly back on topic...

how did the man feel when he got hit by a train?

He was chuffed to bits.

Told that one to my friends here and they didn't get it. Rolling Eyes

by **Jonzee** Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:15 am

Haha nice

by CFCNick Sun Jul 22, 2012 2:08 am

I found it hard getting over my addiction to the hokey cokey. But I turned myself around and that's what it's all about.

by BL41R GRYLLS Sun Jul 22, 2012 8:25 am

I can't wait for the paralympics. Especially the wheelchair basketball, armless archery and women's football.

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